


Anwen tries to cancel a Flight

by alexwlchan



Category: Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines
Genre: Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22959439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexwlchan/pseuds/alexwlchan
Summary: Anwen tries to cancel her flight, and the Easyjet customer service team leaps into action.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Anwen tries to cancel a Flight

**Author's Note:**

> So @Kyatic was trying to cancel a flight, and having some … err … difficulty with Easyjet customer service, shall we say (<https://twitter.com/Kyatic/status/1233391536374788097>).
> 
> This is the ridiculous thing my brain came up with.

_**INT. EASYJET CALL CENTRE** _

CUSTOMER SUPPORT REP #1  
I can’t shake this customer. She wants us to cancel flight EZY 326, but it’s just taken off from the airport. I’ve tried to shake her … letting her go to hold … blocking her DMs … playing Ed Sheeran. I don’t know what to do!

CUSTOMER SUPPORT REP #2  
We’ve got a Karen on our hands. You’ve got to escalate this. We need backup.

CUSTOMER SUPPORT REP #1  
You don’t mean…

CUSTOMER SUPPORT REP #2  
I do.

**CUSTOMER SUPPORT REP #2 pushes button “EMERGENCY SUPPORT CRISIS”**

**DICK DASTARDLY enters**

DICK DASTARDLY  
What appears to be the problem?

CUSTOMER SUPPORT REP #2  
We’ve got a customer who wants to cancel a flight. She won’t stop, it’s pretty serious – we’ve got to cancel the plane!

DICK DASTARDLY  
Leave it with me, gentlemen!

**DICK DASTARDLY pulls out a preposterously large phone**

DICK DASTARDLY, into his phone  
The pigeon is on a plane. Clunk, we’ve got to stop it!

**A series of unintelligible noises come from the phone**

DICK DASTARDLY  
What’d he say? What’d he say?

CUSTOMER SERVICE REP #1  
I think he said “sure thing, boss”, bu—

DICK DASTARDLY  
Excellent!

_**EXT. FLYING SQUADRON HEADQUARTERS** _

**CLUNK is standing next to an elaborate contraption. He rubs his hands together, then pushes a large red button. There’s a loud bang, a crackling sound, and then a large cloud of smoke bursts from the machine.**

_**EXT. THE SKY** _

**A plane is flying through the sky. All appears to be well, until the plane vanishes. The passengers and pilot are suspended in mid-air, until they notice the plane has disappeared.**

THE PILOT  
Oh poo.

**The passengers and pilot fall from the sky.**

_**INT. EASYJET CALL CENTRE** _

DICK DASTARDLY  
The flight is cancelled. I’ve finally got that pigeon, once and for all!

**CUSTOMER SERVICE SUPERVISOR enters**

CUSTOMER SERVICE SUPERVISOR  
Dick Dastardly! What are you doing here?!

**DICK DASTARDLY points to REP #1**

DICK DASTARDLY  
He wanted me to cancel a flight!

CUSTOMER SERVICE REP #1  
Well, I had a really persistent customer who wanted the flight cancelled, and she—

SUPERVISOR, interrupting  
Did she say she wanted to cancel the flight, or her ticket for the flight?

**CUSTOMER SERVICE REP #1 looks forlorn**

CUSTOMER SERVICE SUPERVISOR, sighing  
Again?

DICK DASTARDLY  
Drat! And Double Drat!

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Twitter; copied here both for posterity and because AO3 text is infinitely more accessible than text shots on Twitter. Lightly edited from the original. <https://twitter.com/alexwlchan/status/1233460878088921088>
> 
> It’s been over two decades since I watched any Dastardly and Muttley, so I’m not sure I got Dick Dastardly quite right. But he’s been my go-to cartoon villain for years, and I still remember “Drat! And double drat!”, which was enough to hang this silly idea from.


End file.
